The Trainee
by Monigue
Summary: The cast of Rurouni Kenshin are all brought together for what they think is just another reality television show. Little do they know what the boss has in mind for them... Not a spin off of the Apprentic, I swear!
1. Casting

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or the Apprentice. Alrighty?

AN: I was lying in bed, thinking about ideas. I wanted to write something funny, but didn't really have an idea. This idea just came to me. Since Rurouni Kenshin is back on (yay!) I no longer have to really worry about forgetting what the characters were about. I hope you enjoy! I will be using what actually happens in the Apprentice liberally for inspiration.

Casting

"Five men and five woman. It shouldn't be this difficult!" Monigue sighed, staring at the mess of applications spread across her table. Very slowly Monigue's assistant scoured the table, inspecting each application. Finally he handed her ten files. Monigue flipped through each of the applications, reading quickly down their resumes.

"This is what you think we should do?" Monigue asked. Her assistant nodded firmly. "Get me individual appointments with each of them."

* * *

"Kenshin Himura. It says you run a restaurant. How would you describe your success?"

"Business has been very good, that it has." Kenshin smiled. Monigue looked at him oddly for a moment, and then noted _strange speech. Could spawn cult of followers. Good. _

"What have your past jobs been?"

"I did some… government work." _Seems reluctant to talk about past. Ex-criminal? Look into papers… ah, who gives a crap. It'd be good controversy. _

"So Kenshin. You're a very attractive man. How long have you worn your hair long?" Kenshin blushed slightly. _Very modest, perhaps a little awkward around women. Cute when he blushes. Put him around some pretty girls and see what happens. _

"It's been this way for my whole life." _But what if… _

"Kenshin, are you gay?"

"Oro?" _Very strange speech. _"No!"

"Bisexual?"

"No!"

"Really? Because you look very feminine."

"I was married once to a woman!" Oh yes. That had been in his resume.

"Was married?"

"She passed away." _Tragic past could "accidentally" come out during the show, good turmoil. Ratings galore. _

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Thank you."

"If a bunch of men were kissing each other, would you join them?"

"ORO?" _Very cute when he's confused. Definitely put him around some provocative people. _

"I asked you if-"

"No!"

"Alright, alright." Monigue stood up, gathering her notes. "I know what I need to know. We'll be contacting you later with details."

* * *

"Megumi Takani. It says that you run a successful drug company."

"Yes, I inherited my parents business. I would of course sell the business if I got the job." _A little bit flaky. Could be entertaining._

"Are you single or in a relationship at the moment?"

"At the moment, I'm single." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and flashed a foxy grin. _Put her on a team of all men and see who falls for her. Could be an interesting match with Himura. _

"Would you be interested in pursuing romance on the show?"

"Well, business is business but a little fun on the side wouldn't hurt." _Start looking for perspective matches._

"What sort of guy would you describe as your type?"

"I don't know. Men seem to fall for me. I usually get my pick. I haven't really thought about it."

Seems relatively confident in her sexuality. Find her an equally confident male and see what happens.

* * *

"Hello, Sanosuke Sagara." Monigue greeted the man that had just entered her office, craning her neck up to see his face. _Tall dark and handsome. A little casually dressed. Could be a bit of a punk. _

"What do you do for a living?"

"I work at a very successful casino."

"Do you do any gambling?"

"Yes."

"Do you like to take risks?"

"Yeah." He leaned back, smiling, and put his feet up on the desk. _Definitely a punk. _Monigue noticed with an eyebrow raised.

"Are you at the moment romantically involved with anyone?"

"Nah. No women are holding me down at the moment. But I get my share, if you know what I mean." _Sexually sure of himself. Very._

"So you are living alone?"

"No. I have a roommate."

"Male or female."

"Male, but I wonder sometimes. Long red hair. Real feminine looking." Monigue looked up very quickly.

"Kenshin Himura?"

"Yeah. How did you know that?"

"He came in earlier this day. We're pretty sure that he's on."

"Really? Kenshin's a great guy. Got a strange way with girls too. Women are attracted to him because he's the sensitive type. I didn't know he was applying though. What a coincidence, huh?" He grinned widely.

_He will have loyalty to someone on the show, which could lead to some interesting conflict if they ever ended up on different teams. _Monigue stared at her paper for a second, and then back up at Sanosuke. A brilliant thought had jumped into her head.

_Could be an amusing possible match for Megumi_?

* * *

"Aoshi Shinomori." Monigue read, and then looked up. Her eyes widened as she observed the could be male model that had just entered the office. "Just go. You're in."

* * *

Several hours later, Monigue had a pile of notes and a smile on her face.

"You where right. About all of them." She said to her assistant, who just smiled and nodded. "Your brilliance never ceases to amuse me." Her assistant shrugged.

"Call Celtic and Bert. Tell them that the show is on." Monigue said, leaning back in her chair.

Next Episode: Moving In


	2. Moving in

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.

AN: Sorry it's taken so long for me to update! School has been absolutely crazy. And umm… Sprite is one of my real somewhat crazy friends that wanted to be in here. And she has a thing about Shonen ai… you'll see.

Chapter 2

"We have to get out of here! They're going to arrive soon." Ria yelled out to the camera crew. They had been working frantically for the past few hours to make sure that the house was to the guests liking. But more so to Monigue's liking. Which meant it had to be absolutely and completely bugged.

The crew finished wiring up all the cameras and microphones and stormed out of the apartment. In the control room, a dozen monitors light up with empty hallways all around the house. Monigue leaned back in her chair, gazing at the monitors. She smiled slightly. If anything was going on in the house, they were going to know about it.

* * *

The cab arrived first at Kenshin and Sanosuke's house. A rather hyper looking woman bounded out of the car and rung the doorbell.

"Yes?" Kenshin answered. He was slouched over, his haired messed up. He had obviously just woken up.

"I'm the driver from the Trainee! I'm here to take you to the apartment." Sprite beamed.

"At…" Kenshin looked down at his watch. "Five in the morning? Isn't it a little early?"

"Hey, don't blame me for whatever the producers want you to do. This is the time they told me to come." Sprite glowered. "Now get your friend. I have five other apartments to hit before seven."

"Five other apartments? Your cab only looks like it has room for four." Responded a bewildered looking Kenshin.

"Well, three of the guests are coming in from out of state and Monigue thought it'd be a waste to send out more than one cab to get people from around the city. So you folks will just have to get cozy!" Sprite smiled. Very wide. Just a little too wide. "Now please call your friend so we can get moving!"

"Hey Sano!" Kenshin called upstairs. "Our ride is here."

A muffled thump was heard from the upstairs as Sanosuke hit the ground. Sleepily he shuffled down the stairs, mumbling profanity. He did not notice as Sprite began to tremble.

"O-o-o-ORPHEN!" She howled and quickly threw herself at him. Sanosuke looked down through half open eyes at the girl that had cemented herself to him.

"Orphen-what? Sanosuke. Too early morning." Sanosuke muttered, peeling the squirming Sprite off him. Kenshin knew that five in the morning was far to early in the morning for anything that Sanosuke said to make sense. Sprite coughed.

"Um. Yes. Mm-hm. Sorry about that. I thought that you were someone else." Sprite apologized, rubbing the back of her neck. _Now if I could just find Yuri and Orphen. What if they got together? God, that'd be hot…_Sprite thought out loud under her breath.

"What were you saying, Miss?" An already bright eyed Kenshin inquired of Sprite. Sprite shook of her trance.

"Nothing. Now if you could please get into the cab, we'll be sending someone to take care of you're things later." Sprite was beaming again. Sanosuke's eye twitched.

"To early to early to early." Sanosuke mumbled his mantra under his breath as they trundled out to the car.

* * *

"We're here!" Sprite called back happily to the two shell shocked males.

"Did you have to go so fast?" Kenshin stuttered, eyes wide and twitching.

"To early… to early… make it stop…" Sanosuke repeated, looking like he was on the verge of going into fetal position.

"Next is Mr. Aoshi Shinomori!" Sprite was practically vibrating. "I'll go get him." She bounded up the apartment. Sanosuke and Kenshin watched her with a mixture of awe and absolute horror. Sprite knocked loudly on the door.

Aoshi opened the door fully dressed, looking like he had already been up for several hours. Sprite looks down at her clipboard.

"Aoshi Shinomori… someone so beautiful its frightening." She looked up at Aoshi, then down at the clipboard, than up at Aoshi again. "Found him! Now, if you could please step out to the car, I'm your ride to the set of the Trainee."

"I thought you would be arriving later." Aoshi stated coldly.

_He's just like Yuki. _Sprite looked like she was about to faint. "Sir, is it possible that you could dye your hair blond and start to wear gold color contacts?" Sprite asked hopefully.

"No." Aoshi replied, and headed out to the car.

_Hey, it was worth a shot._ Sprite shrugged.

* * *

By the next stop (which they reached incredibly quickly because of Sprites insane driving,) Kenshin had started to twitch and Oro repeatedly. Sanosuke was looking like he was about to get sick. Even Aoshi looked a little uneasy in the passenger seat. However, it was what Sprite was asking him and not her driving that was worrying him.

"Pleeeease can't you just kiss Sanosuke. I'm only asking for one time!" Sprite tried using her puppy dog eyes on Aoshi, who's eyes were filling more and more with confusion and fright. Aoshi had faced many people in his life. Few had disturbed him as deeply as this girl.

"Come on. For me?" Sprite whimpered.

"No. Is this our next stop?" Aoshi asked, motioning towards the building and trying to distract Sprites attention.

"Why yes it is!" Sprite exclaimed. "Megumi Takani. Misao Machimaki is right next door, so we'll get her next." Aoshi's eyes widened almost impecibly at the mention of the name. _Misao is on the show? _He thought, maintaining a perfectly straight face.

Sprite in the meantime had exploded out of the car and bounded up the door. She knocked vigorously, her smiling never faltering. Megumi opened the door, dressed in a very tight fitting suit that showed of her almost lethal curves. Her hair was down and messy and her hair was a lacquered red color. Her mouth was upturned in a devilish smile.

"Hello! I'm Sprite, and I'm going to be your driver to the Trainee set." Sprite led her quickly over to the car, opening the door next to Sanosuke. Megumi raised her eyebrow slightly as she regarded the three attractive men sitting in the car. Her smile grew wider.

"Move over Orph-Sanosuke." Sprite commanded, pushing the still drowsy man on the shoulder.

"No, its fine. I'll take the middle." Megumi stated. Before anyone could protest she proceeded to crawl over Sanosuke. A tired Sanosuke was suddenly presented with a very attractive woman wiggling across his lap.

Finally she settled into the middle seat, in between the two dazed and confused men besides her. She turned to Kenshin and studied him closely, and then began to smile.

"Why hello. My names Megumi. What's your name?"

"Kenshin." A somewhat frightened Kenshin responded. Sanosuke sunk down his seat and observed yet another pretty woman be inexplicably attracted to Kenshin.

"I'll call you Ken!" Megumi exclaimed, flinging her arms around Kenshin.

"Geez, I've just met you and already I know you're easy." Sanosuke rolled his eyes.

"What did you say?" Megumi turned away from Kenshin to face Sanosuke. She looked like she might kill him.

"Nothing." Sanosuke muttered.

"You know what? Your hair is funny." She giggled, then poked at his large mane of spiked hair. "Its like a roosters. That's what I'll call you, you jerk. Rooster." Megumi smiled evilly.

"I'd rather be a rooster than a vixen. That's what you are." Sanosuke snorted. Kenshin just sat back and watched the two continue to bicker over stupid things.

"I'm back!" Sprite had indeed returned. She dragged a rather discombobulated looking girl behind her. "This is Misao."

"Aoshi?" Asked the surprised looking Misao.

"Misao." Aoshi responded, barely tilting his head to look at her.

"Well since you two are already so friendly, you can share a seat."

"What?!" Misao exclaimed, blushing furiously.

"We don't have any more room in back. And the front seat is the biggest." Sprite replied.

"There's no room besides me." Aoshi stated coldly.

"Then she'll just have to sit on your lap!" Chirped Sprite. Misao at this point was bright red, and Sprite swore that she could make out a light pink flush to Aoshi's face as Misao slid onto his lap.

"Next stop is the Kamiya Studio." Sprite smiled, then began to drive again. Misao, thinking that she was going to die in a few seconds, threw her arms around Aoshi and closed her eyes.

"Misao?" Aoshi asked, an eyebrow raised slightly. "Despite the fact Sprite came close to hitting a few pedestrians and is doing about twice the speed limit, she appears not to be about to crash."

"Oh."

"You can… get off me now."

"Right. Right." Agrees the blushing Misao. Megumi in the back of the car had used the opportunity to throw herself onto the flustered Kenshin.

"Oh Kenshin! What do we do if we crash! Would you save me?" Megumi purred.

"This is pathetic." Muttered Sanosuke.

"We're he-re!" Sprite chimed and got out of the car to knock on the door of the Kamiya Studio.

"Why hello!" Kaoru beamed, opening the door.

"Hi! I'm Sprite! I'm here to take you to the apartments of the Trainee.

"O-okay." Kaoru replied. _Damn, I thought she was going to be a student. _

"You can sit right here." Sprite says, opening the door on Kenshin's side.

"But… someone is already sitting there." Said a very confused Kaoru.

"Yes. I suppose someone is. You'll just have to sit on his lap!" Sprite replied, pushing Kaoru on top of Kenshin.

"Kenshin, Kaoru. Kaoru, Kenshin."

"Hi." Said a remotely squished Kenshin.

"Only one more stop!" Sprite cried, looking down on her watch. "And I only have five more minutes! And it's all the way across the city! I'll really have to floor it to get there."

"What were you doing before?" Sanosuke asked, his eye twitching.

"I was going at a normal speed. Wasn't I?" Sprite asked obliviously.

"Sweet Jesus…" Sanosuke muttered under his breath, eyes wide.

* * *

They made it across town in three minutes. It was the most terrifying experience of all the members of the cab's life. And some of them had seen a lot in their lifetimes.

"I'll go get Saitou!" Sprite decided, getting out of the car.

"Wait… Saitou? Where the hell are we going to but another guy?" Sanosuke wonders. The members of the car look at each other, deeply concerned.

"Okay Saitou! You're our last stop, so we'll be going right to the apartments now." Sprite said cheerily, leading along the very tall man named Saitou.

"Where will I be sitting?" Inquired Saitou.

"Interesting question. I don't think that you'll fit into the car as is." Sprite mused. She looked at the roof of the car, then back at Saitou, then back at the roof of the car. "I have an idea…"

* * *

"You strapped him to the roof of the car?" Monigue asked sprite, obviously dubious.

"Yep." Sprite smiled.

"Isn't that illegal?"

"Probably."

"Well, I like it. Just try not to let this leak too much, huh?" Monigue smiled devilishly. Again she turned her eyes to the monitors in front of her, watching the cast members who were very busy settling in.

"This is gonna be fun." Muttered Monigue.

AN: I lost… my freaking… outline. It will take me a while to get the next chapter up. And I have to write a new outline. The end of this was a little rushed, but I really wanted to get it out. I hope that you like it!

Orphen is a character from the show sorcerous stabber orphen, and yuki is from Gravitation. I own neither.


	3. Getting to know each other

Disclaimer: Again, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.

Chapter Three

"So how" Sanosuke asked, "are we supposed to figure out where everyone sleeps?"

"Its already been set up." Answered Yahiko, who had arrived before all of them and had made himself comfortable in front of the big-screened television. Tsubame and Tae sat on either side of him. "Just check the beds." And it had, in fact, been set up. The seven who had almost exploded out of the taxi (and had just rediscovered their ability to breath) found that on each bed was an action figure of them selves. Below the action figure, if it weren't obvious enough by the dolls, was set a name-tag written in impeccable hand writing.

"These things are so funny!" Megumi exclaimed, sitting at the table and playing with the miniature version of her that was accurate down to its tiny red lips. "I've never seen anything like this before. They would have to know us pretty well to get it this good."

"Well, we did submit face shots." Kenshin responded. He frowned slightly at his action figure, which was about an inch shorter than Sanosuke.

"They probably were spying on us during the wait time." Sanosuke responded, slightly frightened by the figure of himself that was much to accurate.

"I wouldn't have pinned you as the paranoid crazy type, Sanosuke. They wouldn't spy on us. That's just immoral. Everyone has a right to privacy." Megumi responded, her voice edged with disrespect. Sanosuke rolled his eyes.

"They're reality television people. Do you think they have a problem with spying on us or ignoring our right to privacy?" Casually he snapped the waste band of his doll. He dropped the doll quickly, his face growing white.

"Jesus Christ! Those perverts!" He yelled while his left eye twitched violently.

"What are you screaming about?" Megumi asked.

"The dolls are anatomically correct." Sanosuke answered.

"Let me see that." Megumi responded quickly, snatching Sanosuke's doll and looking down the waistband before thinking about what she was doing. Her face turned bright crimson and she flung the doll back at the incredulous looking Sanosuke. "Yep, definitely anatomically correct."

"You just…" Sanosuke trailed off, his face bright pink as he stared at Megumi. She didn't respond or even look at him. "I feel so violated." Sanosuke grunted, obviously shaken.

"Awkward, awkward, awkward!" Somebody hummed behind the pair to the tune of the conga. The three sitting at the table looked up quickly to see that their possible boss to be was perched on a chair behind them, singing the awkward song to herself. She coughed slightly, than looked up.

"Sorry about that. It is an awkward elves duty to announce the awkwardness of a situation in song wherever they may be." Monigue smiled seeing Megumi and Sanosuke's still pink faces. "And damn, that was awkward. I can't believe that you really just did that."

"Can we move on please?" Megumi asked, her voice strained with restraint.

"Of course. I'm Monigue, but I've already met all of you." Monigue responded, sitting on the kitchen table. " I just came by to see how you were doing and to introduce the rest of my crew." Four people entered the room, stopping to stand around Monigue in the kitchen. "The majority of you have met Sprite." Monigue smiled as she watched seven out of the ten contestants blush, twitch, or go into fetal position. "For anyone who hasn't met her, she will be your driver for all of the events." Sprite waved to everyone in the room. Everyone who had rode in the cab looked very alarmed.

"Hiya!" She smiled widely. Finally her eyes rested on Aoshi and Sanosuke. Sanosuke shifted in his seat under the unsettling gaze. Sprite smiled evilly.

"This is Ria, who is our head camera person." Ria smiled. "She is in control of the whole camera crew and runs all of the cameras in this apartment, of which there are quite a few. You will see her lurking around a lot. She does quite a good job, so there will be very little that you do that we won't know about, even if you don't see a camera." Monigue grinned.

"So what, are you watching us through cameras under our skin or something?" Sanosuke asked, grinning. Monigue turned to Ria, right eye twitching.

"They weren't supposed to know about those." Monigue said quietly through her teeth, with out moving her mouth. Ria shrugged slightly. Monigue turned back to the contestants, who had heard nothing of her exchange with Ria.

"Celtic and Bert are my business associates, who will be monitoring the two teams for every task." Monigue motioned to the blonde woman and the short man besides her. "And that's our team! Does anyone have any questions before I dive right in to the tasks?"

"I do." Sanosuke replied, holding up his doll. "What is the meaning of these thing anyways?"

"Well, besides drawing out extremely humorous reactions from people when they realize that the dolls are very… um… lifelike, they are a hint at your next task to come. Before most tasks you will find a hint of what the challenge will be about. Anyone else?"

"You sent out one cab to pick up seven people. Are you aware that I was strapped to the roof in order to make room?" Saitoh growled.

"What? Strapped to the roof? That's just silly." Monigue beamed, feigning innocence. "Anything else? Okay! Its time to divide the teams up!" Monigue snapped her fingers and ultra dramatic music came up in the background. She got up from the table. "Each team will start out with five contestants. As the game progresses and eliminations start, the teams may become in equal. If this happens, I will redistribute the contestants myself. The first teams will be gender divided with the exception of one member of the opposite sex. This one member of the opposite sex will be the first team member. I will, of course, be picking this person out." Monigue smiled.

"But hey, why would you pick the person out?" Yahiko asked. "Wouldn't it make more sense if we picked the person out ourselves?"

"Oh, it would make more sense. But I ask you this: would the sexual tension be as good?" A few eyebrows shoot up in the room. "No. No it would not be. So I get to figure out the people on the teams. Okay-dokey?" Monigue smiled evilly. A few people in the room began to sweat, recognizing that their boss was crazy.

" The only male on the all female team will be… Yahiko!" Monigue announced, looking up at the room. Yahiko looks surprised. The women in the room all look slightly disappointed. Misao leans over to Kaoru.

"Tell me how we got the guy who is arguably the least attractive in the bunch on our team? How is that good for sexual tension?" Misao whispered. Monigue pretended not to hear them, but sent a nasty glare in her direction.

"The only female on the male team will be… Megumi." Megumi smiled. All the color drained very quickly from Kenshin's face. Sanosuke began to bang his head against the table softly.

"Now you may not understand my choices now, but I assure you that you will get it all in due time." Monigue said, smiling at the group. "Now, I make my exit. Farewell!" A cloud of smoke spontaneously exploded around Monigue. The group watched as the smoke cleared around a coughing Monigue.

"We'll get special affects on that to make it real. Come on guys!" Monigue and her group left as swiftly as they'd come. The contestants all looked at each other.

"We're doomed." Yahiko blurted out. Despite the cameras trained on their faces (and the possible cameras under their skin) the whole group nodded in agreement.

AN: Well, how do you like? It wasn't that funny, but I hope you enjoyed it anyways.

Review Responses:

Clamsofmacabre: Yes, it does sound like him… I'm scared, cause most of the characters were not out of character for that chapter, despite the fact that it was going to be extremely far flung. And Saitou is just so easy to torture… I just have to get out all of my demented ideas on him.

Sprite: Chan might be more appropriate Shuichi, who seems considerably more gender confused. (Hehe.) I am definitely going to do the street performance thing, and maybe if you're lucky _someone_ might appear…

Vem: I have no particular love or hate for Kaoru, but I actually do like Megumi a lot. Despite the fact that I toy with her and sometimes my representations of her are less than flattering, she is my favorite female characters. But it's fun to make her a slut.

Thank you to everyone else who reviewed! You peoples rock my socks.


	4. Episode 1: The Brainstorm

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, though if I did Sanosuke and Megumi would have some god damned romantic closure. Coughs Sorry about that.

Episode 1: The Brainstorm

A faint buzzing sound filled the apartment full of sleeping people. Aoshi, the only one awake at the time and previously deep in meditation, opened one eye in irritation. The other contestants slept on in peace. He could hear their faint snores coming from the various bedrooms.

He closed his eyes again, sinking back into calm and letting the buzzing become part of his meditation. Everything was silent for a few more seconds.

"You've got to get up, you've got to get up, you've got to get up in the morning." A loud voice sang out of the void. Aoshi almost fell over, than turned to glare at the direction of the noise. Now he saw that there was a small black box of an intercom on the wall. "Wake up contestants!" Aoshi sighed and got up.

Sanosuke rolled over in bed and began to swear quietly. Yahiko and Kaoru didn't move a muscle, and seem to have gone back to sleep instantaneously. Even Kenshin looks a little reluctant to get out of bed.

"What is it with these people and waking up at five in the morning?" Kenshin wonders, running his hand through his hair. Sano grunted something unintelligible but Kenshin could catch the words "evil" and "satan" in the mix. Sanosuke was not a morning person.

The members of the house didn't move or get out of bed, with the exception of Aoshi who had resumed meditation and Kenshin who had brushed his hair and teeth and was cleaning up after the other cast members.

"They're dead." Ria said, turning to Monigue. Monigue sighed.

"I didn't want to do this but…" she started, then grinned. "Hell, who are we kidding? I've wanted to do this since we started to plan the show. Turn on the fog horn!"

"All right then…" Ria smiled slightly. She pressed a red button on her control board.

Several extremely loud blasts sounded through the apartment. Aoshi, despite his normal composure, shook slightly. Sanosuke rolled out of bed, swearing even louder and slamming his fist against the ground. Kenshin winced and almost cut off his finger with the knife he was chopping onions with.

Sanosuke was the first to stumble out the rooms, in a pair of wrinkled dark jeans and a white tee-shirt. His hair stuck straight up in the air, blatantly defying gravity. Kenshin knew it was perpetually that way, and it was something that continued to perplex him. Kenshin theorized that Sanosuke really slept upside down, or the headband that he wore had some black magic in it.

"Good morning Sanosuke!" Kenshin chirped, handing him a plate of food. Sanosuke responded with something that sounding like "Morning" and "thank you." But then again, it could have been almost anything.

Megumi strolled in casually, having miraculously put on a full face of make up and gotten dressed in under ten minutes. Kaoru and Misao appeared next, each looking like they had just rolled out of bed.

"Good Morning Miss Kaoru! Miss Megumi, Miss Misao." Kenshin smiled. "I made breakfast, if you would like some."

"Thanks!" Misao responded, taking a plate of breakfast and sitting down next to Sanosuke. Kaoru just stood for a moment, staring at the food into her hands and then looking back up at Kenshin.

"You… you… you… cook?" Kaoru squeaked in amazement.

"It's good too!" Misao added with her mouth full.

"Sweet Jesus." Kaoru whispered, staring down at the plate of alluring food. Sanosuke looked up and put down his fork.

"I… understand now." Sanosuke said, face full of wonder.

"Understand what, Sanosuke?" Kenshin asked.

"Why you get all of the girls. And a lot of guys too, now that I think about it." Sanosuke responded. "You must put some sort of aphrodisiac in your food."

"Sanosuke…" Kenshin squeaked, wide eyed at the accusation that he drugged his food.

"That may be true." Megumi cut in. "But you, as his room mate, eat his food all the time. Wouldn't that mean that you would be into Kenshin too?"

Sanosuke and Kenshin both stared at Megumi, turning very pale.

"Are you trying to say I'm gay?" Kenshin and Sanosuke demanded at the same time. Misao almost spit out her food at the table. Aoshi had been listening to the conversation from the other room and despite his icy front looked like he was going to laugh. Sprite, watching from the video conference room with Monigue, began to hyperventilate.

"Orphen…Orphen… Orphen…" Sprite rocked back and forth on her chair, eyes wide and mind filled with perverted thoughts.

"That would explain why they were living together…" Misao pondered, still working away at the breakfast that Kenshin had cooked.

"What would explain the fact Kenshin and Sanosuke are living together?" Yahiko asked, strolling into the room.

"They're gay."

"We're not gay." Sanosuke twitched violently.

"Whatever you say. We accept you no matter what you are." Megumi smiled foxily and patted him on the shoulder. Sanosuke was about to answer angrily when the television turned one.

"Well good morning contestants!" Monigue smiled widely on the screen. Ria and Sprite could be seen in the background. Ria was desperately trying to calm a drooling Sprite. "Since you campers are up already, we can start up on the next challenge, huh?" Tsubame and Tae wandered into the room, attracted by the sound of Monigue's voice. Saitoh followed, already having light up a cigarette.

"I'm amazed that all of you could get yourself in such an awkward situation so early in the morning." Monigue smirked.

"Since we've decided that Orphe-Sanosuke" Sprite quickly changed his name "is gay, can he please kiss Aoshi now?"

"I'm not gay!" Sanosuke shouted, face very red.

"Sure you aren't. Sure." Sprite smiled. Monigue coughed loudly.

"Moving on." Monigue interrupted. "Your challenge for this week will be working with the huge toy company "Natel" to create your own line of action figures. I suggest that you meet as a team and start brain storming idea fast, because your deadline for your final design will be midnight tonight. And neither Kenshin nor Sanosuke are gay."

"And how do you know that?" Megumi questioned.

"Oh trust me. I have my ways." Monigue grinned, pushing two huge piles of Kenshin and Sanosuke's personal information out of the way of the camera. Most of the information had been gained from the close relatives and friends of the two, some given for free and some gained from small bribes. A small portion of especially juicy information had been gained from blackmail and other illegal means. Nobody but Monigue needed to know that.

"Thank you, Monigue." Sanosuke sighed.

"Why? Why would you take this away from me? Why!" Sprite wailed, weeping profusely and falling to the ground.

"As you can see, we have business to take care of over here." Monigue concluded, looking quickly at Sprite who was weeping about how life was cruel on the ground. "Your car will be there in about an hour, hopefully. This is Monigue, over and out." The T.V. went dead. The cast sat silently for a moment.

"Hah!" Sanosuke laughed in Megumi's face. "Not gay!"

"You're reacting awfully violently to a claim that doesn't even seem to phase Kenshin." Yahiko wondered out loud.

"He's a petit redheaded man that could pass for either gender and enjoys cooking and cleaning. He's not exactly unfamiliar with the gay question." Sanosuke grunted. Kenshin blushed slightly but continued cleaning up.

"Its true, that it is." Kenshin muttered. "Many women tell me that I must be gay because I am too good to be true."

"But you're not!" Megumi exclaimed, throwing her arms around a flustered Kenshin. "And that is the glorious thing."

"Oro?" Kenshin groaned, eyes swirled over.

"Can we please stop flirting and get working?" Sanosuke interrupted, rolling his eyes. Megumi scowled at him but stepped away from Kenshin.

"I guess I am team leader, so it is my job to get the team together." Megumi sighed softly, still glaring at Sanosuke. Sanosuke met her stare with an unspoken challenge.

"Because sexual tensions between Sanosuke and Megumi are running so high they could explode at any moment, our team will move into the other room." Yahiko motioned to his team members.

"Sexual what!" Megumi and Sanosuke shouted.

"Hehe. Never mind!" Yahiko responded devilishly, rubbing the back of his head. He lead his team into another room, leaving Sanosuke and Megumi fuming and Kenshin and Aoshi more than slightly amused.

"So does anyone have any ideas?" Megumi asked, slumping down in her seat.

Aoshi closed his eyes and immediately saw bunnies.

But why were there bunnies? Aoshi didn't know. They just where. There were pink ones, and blue ones, and yellow ones…

"What do kids these days like, anyways?" Saitoh questioned, puffing on his cigarette. Everyone in the room turned to Sanosuke.

"What?" Sanosuke asked, blinking back at them. The rest of the team members continued to look expectantly at the least mature member of the team.

"Hey, I'm not kid." Sanosuke grumbled, pouting like a teenager with his arms crossed over his chest.

"You are the youngest one on the team." Megumi speculated. " Or at least you act like it."

"Watch it, fox. You're twenty four, right? That's only two years older than me." Sanosuke thought, remembering the information that they had shared on the cramped cab ride to the apartment. (AN: Ages are a little altered)

"That's true. But aren't you and I just proof of what wonders two years can work?" Megumi giggled. Sanosuke continued to scowl.

Aoshi, meanwhile, was trying to make the bunnies go away. Now there were rainbow colored ones, and stared ones… since when had bunnies been so burned into his psyche? Aoshi had no clue.

"Well, I do have an idea." Sanosuke muttered, leaning back. "What if we did action figures that were samurai?"

The whole group excluding Aoshi meditated on the thought of the samurai action figures for a moment. Aoshi's mind continued to be filled with bunnies.

Now they were dancing. But why did that bunnies have to dance?

"We could give each one a separate ability or weapon." Kenshin speculated.

"And maybe we could create a way so they could fight each other, and you could tell who won." Megumi added, doodling on a pad of paper she had out.

"Can we make them bleed?" Saitoh asked, smiling slightly. Megumi shot him a slightly worried look.

"I don't think it would go over too well if we had life like bleeding action." Megumi speculated. The four continued to contribute, throwing around ideas until an hour later they had a fairly good idea of what they wanted.

Megumi turned to her left, realizing that Aoshi had been silent the whole time. He currently had his head on the table and was banging it softly.

"Aoshi, are you all right?" Megumi asked, putting her hand on his back.

"What about samurai bunnies?" Aoshi muttered, and immediately wished he hadn't. The bunnies were laughing at him. Laughing.

The room was silent, staring at the apparently crazy man in the middle of the room. Aoshi cleared his throat.

"Aoshi, did you sleep last night?" Megumi asked. Aoshi nodded. "Then when was the last time that you ate?"

"I think… I had a cup of tea yesterday morning." Aoshi muttered.

"I think this might be a good time for food, then." Megumi said, a little bit frightened of the crazy man besides her.

"I nominate Kenshin to cook." Sanosuke pointed towards his roommate.

"Of course." Kenshin smiled slightly, and headed to the counter. The rest of the group remained slouched in their position, all of them still racked with fatigue from being woken up so early in the morning. Kenshin was learning how to navigate the kitchen, learning that it had a satisfyingly large selection of ingredients. At his apartment the food never was so well stocked, partially because Sanosuke had an unsatiable appetite. Kenshin always made sure to be a safe distance away from Sanosuke when he ate for fear of losing a limb in his flurry of eating.

As the first team ate their meal, the second team was still trying to figure out their idea. The room was resoundingly silent as all of the members of the team were void of any inspired ideas.

"How about a lobster?" Yahiko suggested, more for the sake of breaking the awkward quiet that was growing tense in the room. Kaoru turned towards him, her eyes narrow with disbelief.

"A lobster?" She asked him incredulously.

"Look, do you have any god damned better ideas?" Yahiko demanded, running his hands through his spiky hair.

"Well…" Kaoru trailed off. She didn't actually have any better ideas. For the moment, lobster was the only thing on the table.

"A lobster action figure?" Tsubame suggested quietly.

"What if we did not lobsters, but a bunch of different types of animals?" Misao suggested, her normally bubbly voice pensive.

"And we could make their parts interchangeable." Yahiko added.

"Their parts?" Kaoru asked, her voice low with horror.

"The Trainee: solving the mechanical problems with beastiality." Misao giggled.

" Their arms and legs, you perverts." Yahiko groaned. Tsubame, who was naturally shy and reserved, was bright red from the provocative suggestions made by her team mates.

"Oh." Kaoru laughed nervously. "Of course."

"What a sick bunch of mothers." Monigue muttered, watching from the other side of the screen with horror.

"They think just like me!" Sprite beamed.

"We're not going to show this, right?" Ria asked.

"Are you kidding me? Of course we're going to show it!" Monigue exclaimed.

"I should have known." Ria groaned.

As the day progressed, both teams made their ideas solid and communicated them to the toy company. Both teams went to bed without being able to see their finished design.

"I think we did well today." Kenshin remarked to Sanosuke, who had been placed in the same room as Kenshin had. The other men's room contained three beds. Sanosuke could only assume that the women were arranged in mostly the same way. Then there were the ominously empty rooms with queen sized beds. Sanosuke could only wonder about those.

"Yeah, I think we did pretty good." Sanosuke decided. "Megumi may be a fox, but she is a pretty good leader." Though Sanosuke didn't like to admit it, Megumi had pulled the team together very gracefully. He could only wonder how things had faired with the other team.

"She is a good leader, that it is." Kenshin agreed absent mindedly. "Do you think that we'll win?"

"I think we'll have to wait until tomorrow to tell." Sanosuke sighed, sinking into his bed.

AN: Kay, I'm going to throw this up just for the sake of updating. Its not so good, but at least it is sort of longish. No, this fiction isn't dead! BUHAHAHA! Anywho, reviews are always good for motivation…


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